July
2000 Newsletter - Volume
3. Issue 7
In
This Issue
©2000 MB-F, Inc.
You may use this paragraph as
permission to reprint any article in the MB-F Newsletter providing 6rticles are printed in
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edit.
Announcement
From MB-F, Inc. and Brown Dog Shows
by Bob Christiansen
MB-F and Brown Dog Shows have
formed a new business alliance that will help bring a new
competitiveness to the Pacific Northwest area, which the Brown
organization has served since 1965. This step was prompted by
Brown’s wish to offer more computer-oriented services to the
exhibitors and greater service to their clubs, while maintaining
the personal contacts they have held for many years.
This cooperative venture will make
additional services immediately available to all the clubs served
by Brown Dog Shows. These services include those already enjoyed
by the MB-F clubs: • A free home-page for each club under
contract • The ability of those clubs to prepare their premium
lists online • The ability of those clubs to build judging
panels online and submit direct to AKC • The ability of those
clubs to resolve overloads online • Wider distribution area for
premium lists • E-mail confirmation of all entries • Online
access to AKC registration files to insure accuracy of entries •
Online results after the show • Insurance coverage for the club
• Listing of the club and its show, premium lists, judging
programs, etc., on their own web site nationwide via InfoDog.
These services already enjoyed by
MB-F clubs will enhance services presently available to those
clubs under contract with the Brown organization.
Over the coming months there will
be an orderly transfer of various operations to the North Carolina
office of MB-F, which will enable Brown to provide better service
to their clubs while maintaining competitive fees. MB-F personnel
may be seen at some upcoming Brown shows as MB-F becomes more
familiar with Brown operations. MB-F clubs and exhibitors will
also find Brown Dog Show premium lists at the MB-F tables at
shows, affording the Brown operation a wider distribution for
their premium lists.
The Brown Dog Show Organization is
excited with this new forward look and the new services that will
be immediately available to their clubs. MB-F looks forward to
this alliance and the opportunity to work with the clubs in the
Pacific Northwest while providing increased services to exhibitors
as well. This additional information on InfoDog and the increased
distribution of premium lists at both Brown and MB-F shows will be
a great help to exhibitors.
Top of
Page
Dog
Shows - It’s Not Just About Bragging Rights Anymore
by W. Henry Odum, III
(Old Dominion Kennel Club of No. Virginia Publicity Chairman)
The dog show probably had its
earliest beginnings when two neighbors, after a lengthy “discussion”,
submitted their prized hunting dogs to an independent arbiter
(read, The Judge) to determine once and for all who bred the “best”
specimen. The bad news was that the result only settled the
argument for that moment. The good news was they found the event
to be a lot of fun and they decided to do it again and include
more neighbors. The eventual result was... the Dog Show (with a
capital “S”).
Originally and ideally, the purpose
of a Dog Show, just as other livestock shows, was to provide a
competitive showcase to exhibit breeding animals and their
progeny. To what purpose? To promote a “product”. What was the
product? Most often the product was the progeny themselves or the
services of the breeding stock on display. But there was another
more intangible “product” that the exhibitors oftentimes tried
to sell – it was an idea, a concept, maybe even a dream, of just
what was the ideal conformation and attitude needed to perform the
intended function of these animals. He not only wanted to “sell”
his product, but to put his stamp on the products of his peers as
well. Winning was important, but influencing the future of the
breed was the ultimate in bragging rights.
Today’s breeder faces a host of
new challenges that must be added to the already difficult task of
breeding the best dog. Political, social, economic and even
ethical issues have found their way into the sport. Animal “rights”
activists pursue an agenda aimed at achieving the demise of the
sport. Communities face pressures caused by too many animals being
produced as well as too many being produced for the wrong reason
(the “pit bull” controversy). Almost daily the headlines tell
stories of public safety concerns, noise and pollution issues, and
the growing cost of animal control within the community. Only too
often we are alerted to pending anti-canine legislation at some
governmental level and find ourselves facing the daunting task of
blocking its passage in an uphill fight. There are even those out
there who feel that the basic concept of a person “owning”
another living creature is wrong. (The latter obviously have never
experienced the joy of sharing their life with a dog. Those of us
who have would question just “who owns whom”).
These are serious well-organized
challenges that, uncontrolled, could seriously impact the dog
Fancy. That is why today’s Dog Show has a vital new mission of
an importance equal to that of breeding the best dog – PUBLIC
EDUCATION. A Dog Show presents an excellent forum to accomplish
this mission and get out our side of the story. It presents the
opportunity to:
· Educate the public on the
benefits of dogs in general and purebred dogs in particular. ·
Extol the virtues of introducing the dog into our lives. ·
Educate the public with regard to selecting the appropriate dog to
meet the particulars of their lifestyle. · Provide a forum for
breeders, exhibitors and the public to meet, thereby contributing
to better understanding and an educated consumer. · Foster
informed discussion of the new challenges being faced. · Provide
this education in an environment that is entertaining and
enjoyable. · Provide, through the forum, the financial support to
continue and expand the effort.
How do we go about doing all this?
How do we bring the two communities the Fancy and the public,
together? Half the problem is easy; the mechanism for involving
the Fancy is essentially in place. Built around the AKC show
approval and scheduling process, the information is promulgated in
myriad publications starting with the AKC Gazette and events
supplement. A whole world of esoteric media and advertising has
evolved to publicize and promote the events – to the Fancy.
Unfortunately, the general public is unaware that this network
exists. It is this remaining half of the problem the show-giving
clubs must address.
How do we get started?
The first challenge is for
show-giving clubs to recognize that the public awareness and
education issue ranks right up there with having a good show.
Maybe not first priority, but a very strong second. The story
needs telling and we can’t succeed if we are our only audience.
The second challenge is to find and
assign a club member to the important position of Public Affairs
Director. If you are fortunate, you may have a member with a bent
toward Public Affairs; if not, it may take a small committee
headed up by someone who understands the objective and can get the
most from people.
What do we do next?
Put together a plan. Now don’t
panic yet, we’re not talking about a tome bound in Moroccan
leather with “THE PLAN” embossed in gold. Here’s a simple
outline of some of the things that might be done:
· Establish your club as a full-
fledged member of the community on an everyday basis. ·
Participate in and sponsor a wide range of community events, not
all must be dog related. · Support scholarships in canine related
fields. · Provide materials for the local library system. ·
Sponsor worthwhile projects, e.g., Pets on Wheels, shot, tattoo
and spay/neuter clinics. · Work with the local Animal Shelter ·
Work with schools, 4-H, Scouts, church groups and more. · Join
the Chamber of Commerce. · Include other community organizations
in your efforts (Ruritan, Knights of Columbus, etc.) and
participate in their activities. · Be identified as a member of
the community; make sure that your work is visible. · Work with
local and state (even national) level elected officials and
agencies. · Help to solve dog related issues before they become
draft legislation. · Get to know who the “movers and shakers”
are. · Be identified as “players” in the process. · Be
someone who is involved even when there isn’t a problem. · Help
them solve problems before the fact instead of supporting panic
letter writing campaigns after the fact – it’s too late then.
· Never miss an opportunity to be identified with good works and
don’t be afraid to let the world know that you are there.
Now, how do we get out the word
about an upcoming show, our best education forum? Advertise using
every possible media resource available.
1. Remember, your spectators come
from your local region; most traditional advertising (Gazette, dog
publications, etc.) is aimed at the Fancy not the public. 2.
Identify and use all the local newspapers. The Washington Post may
have a wide circulation, but local small town papers and even
community advertising oriented “papers” have equally wide
readership in composite, and they may be more cooperative. They
don’t compete with the New York Times. 3. Identify the newspaper
sections that attract people looking for things to do on weekends.
In Northern Virginia, a mention in “The Best of the Week” is
probably more effective than a big ad. 4. Get your show listed in
the various publications that list major regional events. The AAA
magazine, state, city and county public affairs booklets, a flier
prepared by the park you use, the list is endless – find them.
5. Radio and television – and don’t forget your local cable
company. Remember, in the first part of the plan when we
established ourselves as “players” in the community? Now we
can use that status to get consideration for public service
announcements – the kind for which you don’t need to pay. 6.
Try to establish a relationship with local radio and TV
personalities. Become a favorite cause or pet project. Try to get
sportscasters to include our sport. Invite these personalities to
participate in Best in Show/Group presentations. Try to make them
a part of the event. 7. Always try to get an area personality –
Congressman, County Supervisor, radio personality, Mayor, or
anyone with public visibility, to hand out ribbons and trophies.
This is part of the “we are part of your community” program so
don’t forget the pictures. 8. Don’t limit yourself to one type
of format. Country stations as well as classical music stations
have listeners. 9. Provide official passes to key organizations
and individuals, even if you don’t use them for entry to the
show. Don’t forget to send a pass to the people who live near
the show site as appropriate. In an era where good venues are
getting hard to find, we need them on our side. 10. Use available
(and affordable) billboards and visible signs. Leesburg, VA, where
Old Dominion KC has their show, has event signs at all four major
entrances to the town. We buy space on all of them the week of the
show. 11. And, last but not least, get involved with the Internet.
Build a web site that is informative. Establish links with a wide
range of sites to widen coverage. Keep show information up to
date. Don’t forget to take full advantage of the excellent MB-F
web site infodog.com. Linking to their info database on the show
will not only get good information out to the public, but save
your club from a million phone calls. Also use the AKC web site to
your advantage. And, include your web address on all other media
advertising.
I’m sure there are many other
actions I could include here, but you are probably getting the
idea. Remember, the choices are endless, but you have to find and
develop them – they rarely come knocking.
Then, during and after the show:
· Follow through at the show. You
managed to get them there – now ensure they have a good day and
leave happy and better educated. · This is a requirement for all
members of the club: smile a lot and chat with everyone you can.
Spectators are easy to identify from the look of eagerness and
anticipation on their faces. Give them a ride to the ring area
when passing on your golf cart. Do little things that make them
feel welcome. · Have education materials readily available. ·
Have knowledgeable people at the club tent that can answer
questions and give advice. · Make announcements on the PA system
that help the public as well as the exhibitors · Make everyone
part of the show. · The program does not end at Best in Show.
Just like in golf, you must follow through! Don’t forget to send
those thank-you notes and pictures as appropriate. Remember
everyone who helped. · Don’t forget to get the information on
Kerry Blue Terriers to that family from Arlington – you get the
idea.
What now?
The cycle doesn’t end here. To
find out what to do next go back to the paragraph that asks the
question, “How do we get started?” You guessed it – the
process never ends. There is always a new family in town and a new
public official that needs to understand dogs and a new
organization that needs help.
Get involved and stay involved!
Top of
Page
From
Where I Sit
by John S. Ward
The foundation blocks of the sport
of purebred dogs are the local clubs. Fortunately in this day and
age there is a wide variety of such clubs, offering the enthusiast
many opportunities to participate in a wide range of dog
activities. In addition to the customary menu of dog shows, field
trials, and obedience trials, there has been an upsurge in the
number of AKC-sponsored performance events, such as agility, lure
coursing, and several forms of hunting tests. This in turn has
naturally led to the formation of many more dog clubs whose
primary function is to sponsor competitive dog events under AKC
Rules and Regulations.
Close behind that principle
objective is the function of educating the club’s members in all
aspects of the dog activity to which they are committed. In the
case of clubs specializing in a particular performance event, this
is accomplished by conducting training classes for their members
and sometimes for the public in order to provide a structured
approach to successful competition in their specialty. These
classes are usually very well attended and are held as frequently
as once a week.
With regard to local conformation
clubs devoted to a single breed, however, education runs a very
poor second to the effort and time expended on planning for and
putting on their annual breed Specialty Show. In many instances
newer members of these clubs are discouraged by what they perceive
to be complete preoccupation of the older members with the nuts
and bolts of dog shows to the preclusion of educational topics.
The solution to this imbalance of
course is to delegate as much as possible of the dog show
preparations to the Board of Directors of the club and/or the Show
Committee. This in turn frees much of the time of the general
meetings for educational programs. This of course brings us to the
position of Program Chairman. The selection of this individual in
my opinion is at least as important as the designation of a Show
Chairman. He or she can be a powerful factor in recruiting and
retaining the new members all clubs need to survive.
It is indeed difficult to come up
with an interesting program month after month and the job is a
challenging one. In the interests of helping that individual in
your club perhaps some of the following ideas will be of value.
First and foremost as a guest
speaker is our old friend the veterinarian. In these days of
increased specialization in the field of veterinary medicine, it
is not difficult to find vets who are versed in specialties such
as orthopedics, reproduction, and the like. At least one program a
year could be scheduled.
The subject of dog judging can
provide enough material for two successive meetings. The first
meeting could be a general discussion of the breed standard
moderated by one of the senior breeder members of the club, using
live dogs for demonstration purposes. This could be followed by a
presentation the next month given by an approved judge of the
breed, who was also approved for all the members of the Group to
which your breed belongs. This individual could be asked to
provide the members with an exposition of his procedure and
evaluation in the ring.
Another subject of general interest
is dog gait or movement. The AKC has one or two very good video
tapes on this subject which can be borrowed. The video can be
shown at the meeting and will provide a generalized appreciation
of dog movement. This should be followed by a discussion of the
gait of your particular breed moderated by a handler of the breed
or by a skilled amateur.
A nice change of pace for a meeting
is a presentation on dog obedience training, preferably given by a
member of your club who has actually trained one of the breed in
obedience. A side benefit would be a discussion of how to train a
dog that is to be shown both in conformation and obedience.
Of general interest is a forum on
Dog Show Rules and Regulations. This is especially useful for the
newcomer who has no idea on how our sport is organized and
monitored. Another subject to be discussed at this same meeting
could be registration.
If your club is concerned with a
coated breed a meeting devoted to grooming might be in order. This
takes a bit of doing inasmuch as a hands-on demonstration with
brushes, combs, and clippers can generate a clean-up problem. If
possible this session should be physically split into two or three
grooming stations so that everyone has an opportunity to view the
process easily.
Field trips can be very productive
and interesting sessions. It is often possible for example to
visit a community college that has a veterinary technician
curriculum. Similarly a visit to an obedience training class or a
session devoted to agility training can broaden your members’
horizons.
Finally, be careful not to overdo
the use of videos or films. If such are shown there should be a
discussion period following the video moderated by a knowledgeable
club member. There is no substitute for give and take between live
human beings.
I hope some of the ideas discussed
above will assist your club in its education program. Don’t
overlook what I would call targets of opportunity. For example,
you might be fortunate enough to have in your area a geneticist
who would be willing to initiate you into the elements of that
science and perhaps explain how that mysterious thing called DNA
functions.
Top of Page
MORRIS
AND ESSEX
SETTER CROWNED KING AT MORRIS AND
ESSEX by Arthur Frederick Jones
(The following excerpts are from
the article titled above that first appeared in the July 1, 1935
issue of the American Kennel Club Gazette. In the interest of
space we present only those excerpts that pertain to the show
itself and not the individual dogs. They are reprinted with
permission. FYI Best in Show 1935 was the American-bred Irish
Setter, Ch. Milson O’Boy, owned by Mrs. Cheever Porter.)
All roads lead to Madison! All
thoughts turn to Morris and Essex! It is the dog’s day, and
throughout the New Jersey countryside one finds a singleness of
purpose that is unique to special occasions. In England there is
“Derby day”; and in Ireland there is “horse show day”; but
nowhere can one find a closer bond than exists between the dog and
the crowd which flows steadily – from early morning until
mid-afternoon – to the great polo field at Giralda Farms.
The pure-bred dog, washed and
combed, trimmed and chalked, shining in the glorious heritage of
86 different breeds, is a powerful magnet on this day of days. His
appeal has penetrated to 30 States of the Union, and several
foreign countries. His plea has gone forth to all corners of the
nation; and the response has been amazing. All types of humanity
have answered the call.
 |
A. Maclore Halley (l), M
& E Secretary, worked for Mrs. Dodge buying art
bronzes and dogs abroad. He showed many of her dogs coast
to coast. George Foley of the Foley Dog Show Organization,
superintendent of Morris and Essex. Both are pictured in
1935. |
There is no possible standard of
comparison among the thousands who flow toward Madison’ but they
all have one dominating characteristic that makes them brother and
sister – they love dogs. Some have come to our shores in great
ocean liners; others have gathered from great distances on this
continent, progressing here by railroad and plane, although the
motorcar seems to be the most popular form of travel.
Those who travel by automobile find
that for many miles the trees are posted with gaily colored arrow
signs that point the way to the ‘dog show.” But no one needs
follow the arrows. There is a steady stream headed for Giralda.
And as one draws near, traffic cops are at every important
intersection to keep the lines moving. More than 9,000 cars are to
be parked on the estate of Mr. And Mrs. M. Hartley Dodge’ a
record in itself.
Records! There are so many records
being established by this ninth annual Morris and Essex Kennel
Club show that any single mark seems rather lost. Dominating all
figures is that dazzling total of 3,175 dogs entered 4,007 times.
It is the largest number of dogs ever catalogued for a one-day
show anywhere in the world; and it constitutes America’s largest
show in the sixty years that dog exhibits have been held in this
country.
It is no wonder that it requires
the services of some 160 employees to assist the judges and
stewards and the committee members who contributed toward
maintaining that famous clock-work time schedule. The show begins
at 10 A.M. and moves steadily forward through the breed classes
until 4 P.M.
There are 47 rings set up in the
great square made by the 14 huge tents and the many small
gay-colored sheds. All rings start at the same time, and no judge
– despite the size of the entry – has more dogs than he can
handle within the time limit. At 4 P.M. some of the smaller rings
are thrown together, and the first of the variety groups holds the
center of the stage. The six groups, and the final for best in
show are finished by 6 P.M., and Morris and Essex may claim
another crown for its speed and efficiency.
View of the crowds
around the Best in Show
ring at the 1935 show.
All the amazing details of Morris
and Essex do not become apparent until one has moved back and
forth through its tremendous length and breadth for several hours.
It represents the ideal of an outdoor show that Mrs. Dodge has had
in her mind for many years. Beginning in a small way in 1927 when
classes were provided for 18 breeds, and the show benched 595
dogs, it has grown year by year. New features have made their
appearance at each successive show, until one wonders if anything
more could be done to make it a finer exhibit for dogs,
exhibitors, and spectators.
There is strong competition, this
year, in all breeds. In fact, it has been the policy from the
beginning to see that there was competition. Prizes are generous
at Morris and Essex – some 220 sterling silver trophies, in
addition to cash prizes, being offered this year – but no honors
may be won in empty manner.
The weather man is smiling on the
big show, this year, for the first time in its history. It is
neither too hot nor too cold; neither too dry nor too wet. In
fact, with sun overhead and a cool breeze sweeping in through the
bordering trees, it is just about perfect. And as the day goes on,
the crowd gets larger and larger. But there is no confusion, for
the aisles are extra large, and interest is very much divided
among the four dozen rings and the benches in those encircling
tents. Neither do the exhibitors find any confusion. The benchings
have been arranged so carefully that the ring in which each breed
is judged lies as near as possible to the tent in which that breed
is benched.
Five of these breeds have passed
the century mark in number of dogs. All breeds are led by the
smashing total of 207, brought here by the dachshund people. This
makes the second time in the United States that the gay little
teckel has headed a great show, for three months ago the breed
also held first place at Westminster. Cocker spaniels are next in
line with 177, followed by German shepherds at 145, Irish setters
at 120, Boston terriers at 117, and wire fox terriers at 102. Many
other breeds have climbed high up the ladder in the 50s, 60s, 70s,
80s, and 90s, but those first six are the leaders.
There could be a separate story
written about each breed, for many are regarding this event as the
yearly specialty show; there could be something of interest said
about each of the judges, for no man or woman has been selected as
an authority without many years’ experience in the ring; but all
these matters must give precedence to the dogs that go to the top
ranks. That means the variety classes, and best in show; for these
are the awards that the logical elimination system of The American
Kennel Club makes of paramount importance.
Many kennels have been pointing for
this show for months. Some of the dogs have been held back from
previous spring exhibits so that they might make a more
sensational appearance at Morris and Essex. Hopes, of course, have
been running high – especially among the less popular breeds,
for a victory at a show of such dimensions means more than
triumphs at half a dozen shows with smaller entries. That is one
reason why there are more than 1,900 individual exhibitors.
Champions are so numerous among the
3,175 dogs that it seems almost a requirement of entry. And,
today, there is a settlement of the comparative qualities of
outstanding dogs – rather
than a heralding of new
titleholders. Yet, certain startlingly good ones have made their
appearance here today, and they are displacing some famous
winners. And it is always so when one breeds to standard, and aims
always for the perfect dog. In the final analysis, some 39
champions headed their respective breeds, leaving 34 top rungs for
the dogs now on the way up to titular honors… .
One of the most interesting
opinions expressed of Morris and Essex was that of Mrs. Phyllis
Robson, editor of The Dog World (London), who was here especially
to see the great exhibition. She talked at great length, but I
will give you her salient comments. In cryptic form, they follow:
“Oh, a grand show…nothing like
it anywhere! That super catalogue…so well indexed...particularly
appealing to the journalist.... I wish we had something like it in
England... . Those photographers’ towers caught my fancy…one
set for the morning sun, and one for the afternoon… I climbed up
on one, and took a picture of the whole grounds.
“ And what good sports you have
in America…no grousing over the awards during the whole day….
Your system of choosing best in show is so much more spectacular
than England’s…people are breathless waiting for the judge’s
decisions… .”
The Best in Show
lineup for the 1935 Morris and Essex show.
Time out for lunch
at the 1935 Morris and
Essex Kennel Club show.
IN
MEMORIUM
Barbara Zuchelski
Barbara Zuchelski passed away May
11, 2000 after a long illness. She was a member of the Madison
Heights MB-F office since 1971. Barbara served as a superintendent
along with her late husband, Norman, who was also well known and
is remembered by many. Barbara was instrumental in helping many
clubs get their first shows off the ground and running smoothly.
She was totally dedicated to the favorable outcome of every dog
show not only when working in the field but also in directing the
Madison Heights data entry department in the numerous details
associated with the processing of entries. Barbara was a lifetime
member of Livonia Kennel Club and Wolverine Dog Training Club.
Outside of dog shows and the office, Barbara enjoyed spending time
with her family, including son, Mark, and daughters Debbie and
Lisa. She was especially proud of her grandchildren and will be
sadly missed by them. Barbara will be well remembered by the many
people who knew her.
Top of
Page
The Shaggy Dog Stories
HONEYMOON’S OVER
A young couple got married and left
on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately
called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?”
“Oh, mama,” she replied, “the
honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...”
Suddenly she burst out crying. “But,
mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible
language...things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these
awful four-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me
home.... Please, mama!”
“Sarah, Sarah,” her mother
said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What
four-letter words?”
“Please don’t make me tell you,
mama,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed they’re just
too awful! Come get me, please!”
“Darling, baby, you must tell me
what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible
four-letter words!”
Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh,
mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!” (submitted via the
Internet) ARE YOU IN THE ‘GOOD BOOK’?
A guy just died and he’s at the
pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin’
through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy.
St. Peter goes through the Book
several times, furrows his brow and says to the guy, “You know,
I can’t see that you ever did anything really bad in your life,
but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to
even one REALLY GOOD DEED— you’re in.”
The guy thinks for a moment and
says, “Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the
highway and saw a giant group of thugs assaulting this poor girl.
I slowed down my car to see what was going on and sure enough,
there they were about 50 of ‘em harassing this terrified young
woman.
“Infuriated, I got out of my car,
grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader
of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain
running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader,
the thugs formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader’s
chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire
iron. Laid him out. Then I turned and yelled at the rest of them,
‘Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of
sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in
pain!”
St. Peter, impressed, says, “Really?
When did this happen?”
“Oh, about two minutes ago.”
(submitted via the Internet)
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO…
We were asked to dinner by a new
friend. When we sat down at the table, we noticed that the dishes
were dirty.
“Were these dishes washed?” I
asked the hostess as I rubbed my fingers over the surface.
She replied, “They’re as clean
as soap and water could get them”.
I felt a bit apprehensive, but
started eating anyway. Dinner was delicious, despite the dirty
dishes.
When dinner was over, the hostess
took the dishes outside and yelled, “Here Soap! Here Water!”
(submitted via the Internet)
A POEM FOR THOSE OVER 30
A computer was something on TV From
a science fiction show of note A Window was something you hated to
clean And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different
things And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment A
program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a
piano.
Memory was something that you lost
with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3-in. floppy You
hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to
the garbage Not something you did to a file And if you unzipped
anything in public You’d be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a
mouse lived And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue A web was a spider’s home And a virus
was the flu.
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and
paper And the memory in my head I hear nobody’s been killed in a
computer crash But when it happens they wish they were dead.
~Author unknown
THE TRUTH ABOUT DOGS AND CATS by
Dot Com
I just realized that while children
are dogs, loyal and affectionate, teenagers are cats. It’s so
easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It
puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a
Rembrandt painting.
Then around age 13, your adoring
little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come
inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you
emperor. Instead of dogging your [foot]steps, it disappears. You
won’t see it again until it gets hungry enough to turn its nose
up at whatever you’re serving.
When you reach out to ruffle its
head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you,
then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it
has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat,
think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so
antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won’t go on family
outings.
Since you’re the one who raised
it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume
that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you
redouble your efforts. Only now you’re dealing with a cat and
getting the opposite of the desired result.
Call it, and it runs away. The more
you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away. Now
you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near
the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs
your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come,
seeking that warm, comforting lap. Be there to open the door for
it. One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give
you a big kiss and say, “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let
me get those dishes for you.” Then you’ll realize your cat is
a dog again.
(Reprinted with permission from The
Hamburger Square Post, May 2000 issue.)
Humor is a good thing.
If you have a favorite doggy laff
-- particularly a true story --
please send it in and share a good laff with fellow dog enthusiasts.
Send to:
MB-F, Inc.
c/o The Shaggy Dog
P.O. Box 22107
Greensboro, NC 27420
e-mail: mbf@infodog.com
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