February 2000 Newsletter - Volume 3. Issue 2

In This Issue

• $43 Million - A Dollar At A Time, by Tom Crowe
• From Where I Sit..., by John S. Ward
• Results Of Exhibitor Survey On Dog Shows, by Dorie Crowe
• Caddo Kennel Club Helps Junior Realize Dream
• In Memoriam
• A Word From The AKCCHF
• The Shaggy Dog Stories

©1999 MB-F, Inc.

You may use this paragraph as permission to reprint any article in the MB-F Newsletter providing 6rticles are printed in their entirety, proper credit is given to the author and to the MB-F Newsletter, and a copy of the publication in which it was reprinted is sent to the MB-F Newsletter, P.O. Box 22107, Greensboro, NC 27420. Opinions expressed by authors in this publication are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Publisher reserves the right to edit.

$43 Million - A Dollar At A Time
by Tom Crowe

Wow! That’s a lot of money. If $43,000,000.00 were multiplied by 6½ % per year that would amount to $2,795,000.00 per year wouldn’t it? Do you believe the AKC Canine Health Foundation could accomplish that feat? I do. Here’s how.

Starting right now, every employee of MB-F/Infodog is going to give me $1 and from that beginning we will open a brokerage account in the name of the AKC Canine Health Foundation CAPITAL ENDOWMENT FUND for safekeeping. I am personally going to add $1,000 to that account as a beginning deposit. We will also send letters to every dog club including the 13,000 or so conformation, all-breed, specialty, field trial, obedience clubs etc., asking that they ask each member to also contribute $1. WE will ask the staff at AKC and each delegate and each club to do the same.

We will also ask each Superintendent to make their contribution from themselves and their employees. We will solicit the many thousands of veterinarians and their employees and all of the veterinary schools and their staffs and students to send in their dollars. We will ask the many dog food and dog-related companies to ask their employees to contribute to this fund also. We will be asking everyone contributing $1 to suggest to every dog owner they know that they also contribute $1 until we have reached a very meaningful amount of money. There are 43,000,000+ households in the U.S. owning dogs. I would like to think that every one of those households would be happy to donate the price of a cup of coffee toward their Best Friend’s health.

Each week we will print a list of donors of $1.00 or more to this fund along with the total raised to date. The postings will be on the MB-F/InfoDog and Canine Health Foundation web sites. All we need is a name and address (optional) but desired. This is to keep the records straight and let the donor know their $1.00 has been received, deposited and appreciated. There will be no operating expenses in this plan. Each dollar donated will remain in the Capital Endowment Fund not to be spent. The Capital Endowment Fund per se will not be touched. However, when a sizeable amount has been received and interest payments are sufficient to contribute to grants dedicated to research and dog health programs, only then may the AKC Canine Health Foundation approve authorization of contributions to grants. Let me repeat, THE $1 CAPITAL ENDOWMENT FUND CONTRIBUTIONS WILL ONLY BE USED FOR FUNDING OF AKC CANINE HEALTH PROGRAMS AND ONLY EARNED INTEREST FROM THE FUND MAY BE APPROVED FOR USE IN THESE PROGRAMS.

Our plan is to be coincident with the first month of the millennium NEW YEAR and we will remember it as the beginning of the Millennium for the AKC Canine Health Foundation’s “Dollars for Dogs”.

Send your Dollars for Dogs to the: AKC Canine Health Foundation Dollars for Dogs 251 West Garfield Road, Suite 160 Aurora, Ohio 44202 or www.infodog.com

Prologue

It is well for all of us to remember that the AKC Canine Health Foundation was established by the American Kennel Club as a Non Profit Corporation to fund research and dog health programs. It is the purpose of the program to raise money and donate that money, after stringent investigation, to worthwhile organizations engaged in research and health programs for the benefit of dogs and dog owners. It is a volunteer organization of experts in several fields related to dog health and dog ownership. These are dedicated individuals with a single purpose: To promote and extend the long lasting relationship between Man and Dog by improving the health and well being of the dog.

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From Where I Sit
by John S. Ward

The value of the current research on DNA and the genetic makeup of the dog cannot be overestimated. This is particularly true with respect to two problems which are of great concern to all members of the dog fancy, and which I will discuss below.

In the history of mankind we have been occasionally blessed with scientific and technological breakthroughs that have significantly altered our capabilities. One such example of course was the invention of the transistor which replaced the inefficient and unreliable vacuum tube. Without the transistor the world’s satellite and space programs would not have been possible. Of equal importance, the transistor enabled us to develop the personal computer and other applications of computer chip technology. The discovery and explanation of the double helix model of the DNA program in all living things is of similar inestimable value.

First and foremost of course in the application of DNA research is our ability to identify and possibly alter genes of importance to the welfare of human beings. Nevertheless there are numerous beneficial side effects of this research applicable to other living species, including being able to map the genes responsible for the physical characteristics and possibly behavior patterns of our friend the dog. If we are fortunate we will at last be able to rid the dog of hereditary disorders which have plagued us for years.

For example, let us talk about the genetic flaw which produces Progressive Retinal Atrophy in dogs. If and when that gene is identified it will be possible to determine whether individual dogs are carriers for PRA. Instead of eliminating such a dog from our breeding program we could breed him or her to a clear animal followed by testing of their progeny. The clear dogs could be returned to the breeding program and the remainder could go to pet homes after spaying or neutering. If this procedure were faithfully carried out within a breed, one could reasonably expect the disorder to be eliminated or at least greatly curtailed.

The other application of our new knowledge of how to read DNA test results is of course our enhanced ability to positively identify individual dogs. For example, in the event that a bitch is bred accidentally to two different studs, it is now practical to determine which puppies in the litter came from which dog. Of far more importance however is the use of DNA testing to maintain the integrity of a registry. It is evident that the AKC has been moving in this direction in a prudent manner by implementing a DNA identification system on a step-by-step basis to insure that all the bugs have been worked out. DNA identification is now routinely used as an adjunct by field investigators in the inspection and verification of breeders’ records. Certain other programs have been initiated, such as the requirement recently adopted by the AKC Board that DNA tests of regularly used studs must be submitted to the AKC for all such dogs.

The cost of DNA testing has been raised as an objection to requiring such tests for the registration of all dogs. The more widespread the use of this aid to identification becomes the greater the likelihood that these costs will be reduced. The same objection has been raised to the use of microchips as identifiers, but in my opinion the use of these two techniques is well worth some increased cost, if we are able to say with positive assurance that our purebred dogs have the ancestry we claim for them.

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Results Of Exhibitor Survey On Dog Shows
by Dorie Crowe

Once again the Internet has provided a great tool to aid Show Chairmen and Superintendents and the Fancy.

Our latest survey, the “Exhibitor Survey on Dog Shows,” drew 938 responses. The survey had 26 questions pertaining to Dog Shows. Most of the questions were multiple choice, but some gave the respondents the opportunity to express their own opinions.

We can always count on the exhibitors to be very candid and thoughtful when asked for their opinions. The length of the survey makes it necessary to present the results in two parts. This means you’ll have to wait ‘til the March issue to learn the exhibitor’s choice for Best Show.

As in our Exhibitor Survey on Judging, this survey reinforced some things we suspected or knew, told us some new things and also gave some food for thought.

Also like our previous survey, the greater number of respondents has been in the sport more than 20 years. The greater percentage attends 21-30 shows each year and the overwhelming percentage (69.08%) are members of a kennel club.

Of that number 75.80% have never been a Show Chairman; 24.20% have been. It was interesting to note that of the 75.80% that have never been a Show Chairman, 51.17% have NOT worked at their club’s show; while 48.83% have.

In some instances you will notice the total responses are more than 938. This is because some respondents had multiple answers.

We are pleased to present Part I below. We hope you find the results interesting and informative.

Number of Respondents 938 

1. Please tell us how long you have been exhibiting in dog shows? (years) 

Less than 1      46       4.90%
1 to 5             203      21.64%
6 to 10           186       19.83%
11 to 15         150       15.99%
16 to 20         135        14.39%
More than 20  218        23.24%

2. Please tell us if you are: 

Owner                        414    44.14%
Breeder                      475    50.64%
Professional Handler     26      2.77%
No Answer                   23      2.45% 

3. Please tell us the number of shows at which you exhibit each year? 

Less than 10    86      9.17% 
11 to 20          216    23.03% 
21 to 30          245    26.12% 
31 to 40          138    14.71% 
41 to 50            95    10.13%
51 to 75            91      9.70% 
76 to 100          41      4.37% 
More than 100   24      2.56%
No Answer          2      0.21% 

4. Are you a member of a Kennel Club? Yes 648 69.08% No 290 30.92%

5. Have you ever been a Show Chairman? Yes 227 24.20% No 711 75.80%

6. If you have NOT been Show Chairman, have you worked at your club’s show? 

Yes    458    48.83%
No      480    51.17%

If yes, in what capacity? 

Steward                159   17.00% 
Hospitality              86     9.17%
Trophies                 46     4.90% 
Various Jobs           45     4.80% 
Trophy Chair           40     4.26% 
Club Officer             28    2.99% 
Sell Catalogs           28    2.99% 
Grounds                  26    2.77% 
Ring Set-Up             23    2.45% 
Obedience Chair      17    1.81% 
Show Secretary       16    1.71%
 Asst Show Chair     15    1.60% 
Chief Steward          13    1.39% 
Advertising              12    1.28% 
Match Chair             10    1.07% 
Judge Selection        09    0.96% 
Educ/Info Table         08    0.85% 
Parking                    07    0.75% 
Fundraiser                07    0.75% 
Clean-Up                  06    0.64% 
Vendors                   06    0.64% 
Gate                        06    0.64% 
Show Committee      05    0.53% 
Publicity                  05    0.53% 
Banquet Chair          04    0.43% 
Trophy Table            04    0.43% 
Announcer               03    0.32% 
Catalog Preparation  03    0.32% 
Judge Transportation 02    0.21%
 Agility Asst             02    0.21% 
Organize Clinics       02    0.21% 

And 1 response for each of these jobs: Veterinarian, Security, Training Classes, Newsletter Editor, Lure Coursing Chair, Track Layer, Herding Chair, Ways and Means Committee, Rescue Parade, Merchandise Mgr., Ribbons, Coordinator, Mailings.

7. If you have a dog to show, what one factor influences your decision to enter or not? 

Particular Judge         498      53.09% 
Distance from Home   227      24.20% 
Show is Indoor/Outdoor  9        0.96% 
Entry Fee                    13        1.39% 
Facility or Grounds       53        5.65% 
Trophies                        2        0.21% 
Majors last Year           46        4.90% 
Friends entering            18        1.92% 
No Answer                    72        7.68%

8. If you have a choice of shows on a weekend, what one factor most influences your decision to enter a particular show? 

Particular Judge                577    61.51% 
Distance from Home         137     14.61% 
Show is Indoor/Outdoor      23       2.45% 
Entry Fee                           7        0.75% 
Facility or Grounds            79        8.42% 
Trophies                             1        0.11% 
Majors last Year                72        7.68% 
Friends entering                25         2.67% 
No Answer                       17         1.81%

9. If you attended a particular show last year, how likely are you to attend the same show this year? 
Not Likely                  3    0.32% 
Somewhat Likely    224    23.88% 
Probably Will         641     68.34% 
Definitely Will          53       5.65% 
No Answer              17         .81%

10. Do you buy a Catalog? 

Always                  446    47.55% 
Only if I win            230    24.52% 
Share Tear Sheets 122     13.01% 
Never                    100     10.66%
No Answer              40       4.26%

11. When you attend a show, what type of vehicle do you use? 

Car                    86    9.17% 
Station Wagon   70     7.46% 
Van                 586   62.47% 
RV                  109    11.62% 
Bus-type RV      62      6.61%
No Answer         25      2.67%

12. Do you know when certain shows usually occurr during the year? 

Yes     907    96.70% 
No        31      3.30%

13. When you make entries, how is it normally done? 

Myself                           683    72.81% 
Handler                           18     1.92% 
Independent Entry Service 35    3.73% 
Supt. Entry Service          22     2.35% 
On-line Entry                 164    17.48% 
No Answer                       16     1.71%

14. After you complete the entries, what do you normally do with them?

Hand them in               61    6.50% 
Mail                          553   58.96% 
Overnight                    43     4.58%
Fax                            56     5.97%
Submit On-line           177   18.87% 
No Answer                  48     5.12%

15. What is your PRIMARY source of information about show entries?
Premium Lists            513     54.69% 
Friends                          9       0.96% 
Dog Magazines           159     16.95%
Telephone                      3       0.32% 
Internet                       229      24.41%
Supt’s Table at shows     8        0.85%
No Answer                    17        1.81%

16. How important is it that you receive the actual premium list in the mail?
Not Important                41     4.37%
Somewhat Important    177    18.87%
Important                    255     27.19%
Very Important            447      47.65% 
No Answer                   18        1.92%

17. How often do you look for show information on-line?
Every Day                         107 11.41%
At Least once per week     506  53.94%
At least once per month     223  23.77%
Seldom                              73    7.78%
Never                                 10    1.07%
No Answer                         19    2.03%

18. In which of the following are you most likely to exhibit your dog? 

Single Shows       69       7.36%
Back-to-Back     514      54.80%
Circuits                58       6.18%
Cluster               273     29.10%
No Answer            24       2.56%

19. In Regard to parking an RV or Motorhome at a show, which do you prefer?

First-Come, First-Served    81     8.64%
Reserve in Advance         228    24.31%
Not Applicable                629     67.06%

20. Do you think that there should be a limit on the number of shows on a circuit (different clubs, different locations each day)? 

No      712     75.91% 
Yes    226     24.09%

If yes, what number 

0   2       0.88%
1   6       2.65%
2    38   16.81%
3    68   30.09%
4    85   37.61%
5    18     7.96%
6      5     2.21%
7      4     1.77%

21. Do you think there should be a limit on the number of shows in a cluster (different clubs, same location each day)? 

No    707        75.37%
Yes  231        24.63%

If yes, what number 

0                1         0.43%
1                1         0.43%
2              18          7.79%
3              45        19.48%
4            122        52.81%
5              30       12.99%
6                7        3.03%
7                4        1.73%
8 or more    3        1.30%

To be continued in the March issue.

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Caddo Kennel Club Helps Junior Realize Dream

Amber Lee Standridge, who was tragically killed in an automobile accident on May 8, 1997, accomplished many things as a Junior Handler. She began showing a Bichon Frise at the age of nine; then a Fox Terrier, Boogie, and at 12 she finished her Alaskan Malamute, Misty, in just four shows, taking back-to-back five-point majors at a Specialty in Houston. Because we lost Amber at 14 years of age, she left many dreams unfulfilled. One of those dreams was to attend the “ultimate” dog show, Westminster, in New York City.

Our club instituted a scholarship in Amber’s memory to help with the financial needs of a Junior who might not be able to attend without this additional help. The scholarship provides airfare, hotel and food expenses. Juniors who qualified for Westminster had to submit a one to two-page essay about themselves by December 1, 1999. The scholarship recipient would then be chosen and notified by the Caddo Kennel Club.

In order to raise money for this scholarship our club held fundraisers and also sought donations from 35 clubs within a 250-mile radius of Marshall, TX. We raised $2,000 and the first recipient of the Amber Lee Standridge Memorial Scholarship was named.

The scholarship was awarded to 13-year-old Reece Avants from Brusly, LA. Reece is the first in his family to enter the ring. He started showing his Beagle, Mandy, in 1996. He has finished his Pointer, JD, and is close to finishing JD’s sister, Molly. He has a new Beagle puppy, High Ball, that will enter the ring soon. He also received a 4-H Blue Award for finishing in the Top Ten out of 64 Parishes in the dog category for the Short Course at Louisiana State University. This course encompasses two months of training and three days of competition in speeches, testing and demonstrations. He qualified to go to Westminster in May of 1999 by getting his eighth Junior win with his Pointer champion, Tate, and has since received eight more wins.

The Caddo Kennel Club was started in August, 1991, in Kilgore, TX as the Kilgore Kennel Club. They had two fun matches a year and did community work. While seeking AKC accreditation in 1996, it was discovered the Kilgore club was considered to be in the same geographic area as the Longview Kennel Club since both clubs were in Gregg County. In January, 1997, the club moved to Marshall, TX in Harrison County and became the Caddo Kennel Club.

The members chose the name Caddo after the fascinating natural lake located 15 miles from Marshall in Uncertain, TX. Caddo Lake was named after the Caddo Indians and is a beautiful area of swamps and tall Cypress trees. The members agreed this name would take in the areas around Marshall.

Since CKC’s move to Marshall, the club has held eight fun matches with approximately 80 entries. The club offers Canine Good Citizen tests at these matches as well. Caddo also offers an obedience class in the spring and fall with about 30 dogs attending each class. It was at the Spring 1997 match that Caddo Kennel Club set up the Amber Lee Standridge Memorial Scholarship.

The club participates in many community events. In ’97 members decorated a 37-foot float complete with Cypress trees, canoes and “Indians,” winning the Parade Marshall’s trophy in the Wonderland of Lights Christmas Parade. Members dressed as Native Americans and walked or rode with their dogs, all in lights! That year members also started working with the Humane Society of Harrison County to help educate people about the proper care of animals and breeding, along with the importance of spaying and neutering.

In ’98 we won the Third Place Wacky Vehicle Trophy in Marshall’s Fireant Festival parade and in December the club again placed in the Marshall Christmas Parade and won the President’s Trophy.

In 1999 the Caddo Kennel Club worked with the Marshall Chamber of Commerce to host the six-day United States Australian Shepherd Association, Inc. Specialty Show, which included herding, agility, obedience and conformation. After the USASA Nationals the club began the process of fulfilling Amber’s dream.

This year we plan to continue matches, obedience and handling classes and our work with the Humane Society of Harrison County. We also enjoy support in our projects from the clubs in Longview, Tyler and Shreveport.

We are proud to have made Amber’s dream a reality and wish Reece the best of luck at Westminster 2000!

Club Secretary

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In Memoriam

MB-F has experienced two recent losses in the ranks of former employees - Nelson Gladstone (Greensboro office) and Dorothy John (Michigan office). In this issue we remember Nelson. To many of our Show Chairmen Nelson was the smiling voice on the other end of the line at entry closing time. 

Nelson was born in Winston-Salem, where he spent his childhood. He attended Baylor Military Academy in Chattanooga, TN and graduated from Hanes High School in Winston-Salem. Following graduation he served in the U.S. Army in Korea. After returning home he attended Guilford College and began working at Western Electric (AT&T) as a technical writer. Nelson spent 36 years working at the very large AT & T and following his retirement in 1990 he began working at MB-F. He was responsible for writing judging programs and planning ring layouts.

 “Nelson’s years with MB-F were some of his happiest and he enjoyed the atmosphere of working for a ‘smaller’ company,” says Edith, his widow. It was with reluctance that Nelson retired from MB-F in 1996 due to health problems. He passed away December 15, 1999. He and Edith showed Siberian Huskies, Pointers and Dalmatians under the Summerhill prefix. During the 1980s Nelson was a well-known figure in the Group ring with their Best in Show winning Dalmatian, Ch. Albelarm Starr of Summerhill. They were a very successful team throughout the East Coast. Following his retirement from MB-F, Nelson and Edith continued to enjoy traveling to shows. “While he was at MB-F Nelson made many friends and he never lost touch with them. Their friendship meant a great deal to him.” He will be remembered for his great love of people and his ready smile. He always had a kind word to encourage beginners in the show ring and he treasured his many friends dearly.

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A Word From The AKCCHF

FOUNDATION ANNOUNCES ENDOWMENT CAMPAIGN — “DOLLARS FOR DOGS”

Aurora, Ohio, February 1, 2000…The AKC Canine Health Foundation announced today a drive to expand its endowment. The drive will ask everyone who owns, works with or cares about dogs to donate at least one dollar toward the development of a canine health research endowment. Tom Crowe, of MB-F, Inc., the world’s largest dog show superintendent, will chair the campaign. “How can anyone refuse the contribution of $1 to help dogs everywhere?” said Crowe. “We expect veterinarians to be key in this campaign by putting donation boxes in their offices and asking their staffs and clients to chip in.”

The American Kennel Club established the Foundation with $1,000,000 in 1995. The goal of the campaign will be to raise $43,000,000 over the next five years. All of the money raised will become part of an invested endowment wherein only the interest may be spent on canine health research. “We spend 26 billion dollars a year on our pets,” said Crowe, “but less than 1% of that total on canine health.” Recently, the Journal of the American Cancer Society and Discover Magazine noted that advances in canine health will also lead to advances in human health. “We have already seen this happen with the recent discovery of the gene for narcolepsy in Doberman Pinschers by Dr. Emanuel Mignot, at Stanford University,” said Deborah Lynch, AKC/CHF Executive Vice President. “Now that scientists know the genetic components of this disease, treatments and therapies can be developed that will help both dogs and humans.”

The “Dollars for Dogs” campaign will be directed at the 43 million dog owning households; 13,000 dog events each year with their attendees and spectators; dog clubs worldwide; 16,000 practicing veterinarians and their clients; 27 veterinary schools, their students and clients; dozens of dog food companies; and all other dog-interested organizations and persons connected to canine health. People will be asked to donate at least one dollar to the AKC Canine Health Foundation through mail, the internet and donation points at dog shows, veterinarian offices and other locations. The position is to encourage all dog-related persons to participate on a small basis toward a very large goal.

The AKC Canine Health Foundation supports research studies in canine genetics, cancer, epilepsy, hip dysplasia, heart disease and auto-immune disease, as well as many other areas. To make a donation to “Dollars for Dogs,” log onto the Foundation’s website, www.akcchf.org or www.infodog.com. Donors will be thanked online.

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   The Shaggy Dog Stories 

PRIORITIES

A breeder named Patti received a free ticket to the Westminster Dog Show from the premium dog food company. Unfortunately, when Patti arrives at Madison Square Garden she realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner — she is closer to the ex-pens than the rings.

About halfway through the first Group, Patti notices an empty seat three rows from the ring gates, in plain view of the examining table. She decides to take a chance and makes her way through the celebrities, owners and big time breeders, around the security guards to the empty seat. As she sits down, she asks the woman sitting next to her, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The woman says,”No.”

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the most important dog show in the dog world, Patti again inquires of the woman next to her, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Garden and not use it?”

The woman replies, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my husband, but he passed away. This is the first Westminster Show here at the Garden we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”

“Well, that’s really sad,” says Patti, “but still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?”

“No,” the woman replies, “they’re all at the funeral.” (submitted by Dot Newkirk of Washington State)

THE RULES

1. The Dog is NOT allowed in the house.

2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

3. Okay, the dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.

4. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture only.

5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep on the bed.

6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

7. Okay, the dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.

8. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

9. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers every night.

10. We must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

A Dog Person's Dictionary

ANGULATION: Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges.

BALANCE: How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.

BITCH: a) Name for a lady dog. b) Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.

COAT: The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.

DAM: a) A lady dog with children. b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.

ELBOW: Method of getting to ringside when late.

EXPRESSION: "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at the chunks of liver.

FANCIER: Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.

FEATHERING: What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.

FRONT: Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.

HEEL: a) You feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.

HEIGHT: As in "Maximum Allowed:, a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.

HOCK: A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.

KENNEL: Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you.

LITTER: Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.

MASK: What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.

MUZZLE: What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.

NOSEPRINTS: Cute marks left all over your French doors.

OUTCROSSING: What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.

POINTS: Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.

PUPPIES: Small, dog-like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts).

(The above items submitted via the internet by Trey Pickard.)

Humor is a good thing.

If you have a favorite doggy laff
-- particularly a true story --
please send it in and share a good laff with fellow dog enthusiasts.

Send to:

MB-F, Inc.
c/o The Shaggy Dog
P.O. Box 22107
Greensboro, NC 27420

e-mail: mbf@infodog.com

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